Sunday, January 09, 2005

Gender equality means a drop-kick to the uterus

I heard a song this evening when in the car. Like many things in this horrible blue sphere of ours, it made me sick. Sick and livid. Let me describe it to you. It was a soppy love song about a guy moaning and bitching about defending some girl's honour and fighting for her. I rolled my eyes so many times to the lyrics i can now see from the back of my head.

Women take this gender equality thing too far. They frickin' want to have their cake and eat it too.
"I want my man to defend my honour, and stand up for me. He has to be able to protect me and make me feel safe." You know what, you skanky bitch? I want my women to stay in the kitchen and cook all day. For me. In exchange, i'll open the door for you. Because that's the exact sexist thing you are trying to spout.

First, let us define sexism. Dictionary.com defines it as : Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender. So i guess the social role of the male being the sole bread-winner of the household and protector of women constitute as a stereotype, yes? Doesn't that make alot of women sexist? *GASP*! Cosmo didn't tell me that!!

Once again, it all boils down to Cosmo and other such magazines. Cosmo tells women what they want to hear "Your man should treat you like a Princess, but still give you enough space for you to advance your self independently." One word :BULL-FRICKIN'-SHIT. That's not gender equality. That's selfish bitch talk.

Here's the ideal scenario: I'll open the door for you. I'll treat you like a Princess. I'll pull out the chair for you. I'll do your hair for you. I'll tell you i love you every waking moment of my life. I'll support you in whatever you do. I'll defend your honour and protect you where ever you are. In exchange, i ask that you treat me the same way. You have to stay in the kitchen and cook. All day long. When i come back from work, i want a warm dinner ready on the table with you smiling at me. Dinner not ready? I'll punch you in the face until it's ready. When i want sex, i want it now. None of that "i've got a headache" crap. I'm getting some even if it means prying open your vagina with a vice. You're not allowed to go to work. You're not allowed to even read. You're also not allowed to be unhappy. When i am off at work earning money, you are supposed to be at home cooking or sewing or crap like that. Disobey me, and i'll beat you head in with a stick. Oh wait, that's spousal abuse.

I'll follow my gender stereotype, and you follow yours. Want gender equality? Then it means dropping your sick, twisted, Don Quixote-like fantasy about men. Sorry, ladies, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's unrealistic and downright unfair for men. Want to be a princess? Then you'll just have to settle for being a domestically abused one.
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