How to get along with your parents

Are your parents hounding you till no end? Are they nagging at you for not doing something? ARe they scolding you for not doing you homework? Did they ground you for not doing well in a test?
Well here's a great solution so that they will get of your back. Just utter these magic words:
"Dad/mom, please be nice to me. I'm the one choosing your retirement home"

I tried this a week ago, and my parents have been waiting on me hand and foot. You should have seen their faces after i said it. I guarentee this phrase will work. Every parents' nightmare is to bee chucked into some dank and dark old folks' home, where they will wear diapers and eat soggy food. Play on their greatest fear, and you'll have the best parents ever.

If you don't like the above idea. Shut up and stop whining about your parents.