Short of cash? Start an investment seminar
I turned the TV on yesterday, in the hopes of finding porn, but was treated to a glimpse of a genius. This guy is a god. I saw an ad for his investment seminar, devilishly cleverly titled "Investment solutions for uncertain times". The genius reared it's head towards the end of the ad. In big,blod, red lettering, where the words "PRICE: $75". I nearly shit my pants at the sheer genius.
Why not play on people's skittishness and fear during this "uncertain time" by dishing out investment "advice" that a donut could probably figure out on its own, or by calling your broker, which is, by the way, FREE!
Here's a clever investment secret for ya, for no charge at all:
Step 1: Start a seminar charging assholes $75 to listen to you spout common sense investment advice that can be found in the "Money" section of your newspaper.
It's that easy.
Who are the people who attend such seminars? Pseudo-investment "gurus" who probably don't even know their equity from their blue chips. They must have closed the track that day, thus the massive turnout. Either that, or it was a collective day-off for truck drivers.
The best part of this horribly clever scheme is that it plays on people's residual fears from a couple of years ago. And if you think about it, it doesn't really make any sense at all. "Uncertain times" What uncertain times? Didn't they just say that the projected growth rate for the market this fiscal year is about 3.8%? I'm no economist, but if people aren't hanging themselves outside the stock exchange office, it isn't an "uncertain time".
The best thing about these seminars is, the people who attend them won't even remember what the door gift was a week after. They go in, listen for 6 hour, say "Hmm....that makes sense.", fart, and leave.
The only person benefitting from this seminar is the speaker himself! He just made a shit load of money from dumbass assholes like you!
Why not play on people's skittishness and fear during this "uncertain time" by dishing out investment "advice" that a donut could probably figure out on its own, or by calling your broker, which is, by the way, FREE!
Here's a clever investment secret for ya, for no charge at all:
Step 1: Start a seminar charging assholes $75 to listen to you spout common sense investment advice that can be found in the "Money" section of your newspaper.
It's that easy.
Who are the people who attend such seminars? Pseudo-investment "gurus" who probably don't even know their equity from their blue chips. They must have closed the track that day, thus the massive turnout. Either that, or it was a collective day-off for truck drivers.
The best part of this horribly clever scheme is that it plays on people's residual fears from a couple of years ago. And if you think about it, it doesn't really make any sense at all. "Uncertain times" What uncertain times? Didn't they just say that the projected growth rate for the market this fiscal year is about 3.8%? I'm no economist, but if people aren't hanging themselves outside the stock exchange office, it isn't an "uncertain time".
The best thing about these seminars is, the people who attend them won't even remember what the door gift was a week after. They go in, listen for 6 hour, say "Hmm....that makes sense.", fart, and leave.
The only person benefitting from this seminar is the speaker himself! He just made a shit load of money from dumbass assholes like you!
